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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23579284">Aftermath</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/asianscaper/pseuds/asianscaper'>asianscaper</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rookie Blue</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, Awkward Romance, F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:00:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,056</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23579284</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/asianscaper/pseuds/asianscaper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after the events of 4x13, Holly gives Gail a ride home.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gail Peck/Holly Stewart</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally a Tumblr post from way back when and archiving here.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gail barely noticed as Holly herded her into her car. She blinked when Holly started the engine.</p>
<p>“Hang in there,” Holly said.</p>
<p>Gail was non-committal as she stared past the windshield and into a night with too many shadows.</p>
<p>“I’m taking you home,” she added, as though pointing out the obvious would somehow anchor both of them.</p>
<p>Holly’s hand on her lap was as reassuring as it was terrifying and Gail swallowed the lump in her throat as she held it, tight and possessive in hers. Gail was suddenly afraid of just how much she needed someone with enough strength, of how much she needed Holly to simply acknowledge that crying would help.</p>
<p>Gail’s life had been sucked of its rhythm, thrown into the chaos of too many voices and only a few that made sense. Again, she studied Holly from the corner of her eye. Oh, this made sense. The inevitable <em>this</em>.</p>
<p>She kind of hated it. She had never felt this much warmth for anyone and the novelty of thawing from the inside out was driving her half insane. That, and the little moths skittering in her stomach.</p>
<p>She kept quiet as Holly drove her home.</p>
<p>When they arrived, Gail managed a choked, “Thanks,” before she got out of the car, dragging her duffel bag from the backseat. She breathed in the night air. Everything seemed different, as though the world had changed overnight, which it probably had.</p>
<p>She leaned into the window to look Holly in the eye. She said, “Thanks for coming. Just…thanks for all this.” She waved at the air around her, hoping she’d gotten the message across.</p>
<p>“It’s the least I can do,” Holly said.</p>
<p>“You didn’t have to.”</p>
<p>“I wanted to. I still want to.” The finality in Holly’s voice made Gail smile. She was endearingly stubborn and Gail found herself a bit mesmerized as Holly’s expression opened into one of obvious concern. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”</p>
<p>“Sure.” Gail rearranged her duffel and shifted her feet as though to leave.</p>
<p>Holly said quickly, “You know, we’re going to have to talk about what’s going on between us.”</p>
<p>Gail licked her lips and with courage she thought she’d lost at the hospital, said, “I’m feeling a shit-ton of things and I don’t really want to ruin…this.”</p>
<p>“You won’t, Gail.”</p>
<p>Gail shrugged in an off-hand way that was familiar and also insincere. She stopped mid-act, suddenly aware of who Holly was, of what she had become in Gail’s life in such a short amount of time. There weren’t enough words to describe her emotions; it was a confusing mixture of exhilarating uncertainty, a thin sheen of relief and then elation that covered her skin and electrified her.</p>
<p>Gail glared at Holly –it was infuriating that she made Gail feel this way –but her voice was soft when she said, “Just…get home safely. I won’t stand it if something happened to you.”</p>
<p>It was enough of a heart-felt admission of Gail wanting more. She groaned inwardly and rolled her eyes, hiding her expression as she turned to go.</p>
<p>“Neither would I,” Holly admitted. It was the same honesty Gail thought she’d never deserve.</p>
<p>She suddenly wondered how she could endure watching Holly drive away. Gail dropped her duffel and leaned against the window again, peering at Holly over the passenger seat. Her expression was painful, eyes crinkling as she allowed her walls to shatter that bit more. Soon, she lamented, there would be nothing left.</p>
<p>“Thanks,” she said.</p>
<p>“Hang in there. And if you need anything, all you need to do is ask.”</p>
<p>She reined in her response, a long history of hurt pulling back her words. She looked at Holly, at the way the shadows made her even more beautiful instead of sinister, of how what little light that struck her hair made it seem ethereal. At any other time and with anyone else, Gail would have found something to complain about. Now, she didn’t.</p>
<p>All she could do, really, was watch as her walls crumbled completely, inevitably, in the face of Holly’s encouraging smile.</p>
<p>“I will,” Gail whispered, nearly speechless.</p>
<p>Holly tilted her head in that knowing way. In the way Gail wanted to hold and kiss into a brief silence so she could at least take back a modicum of control.</p>
<p>Instead, she breathed, “So…”</p>
<p>“So.” Holly leaned in and for a brief moment, Gail nearly panicked. Any intrusions into her personal space were usually met with grim refusal, but the kiss was chaste and placed gently on the side of her mouth. It was everything she didn’t know she needed and more. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Holly repeated, her eyes twinkling.</p>
<p>“You will,” Gail said. All night she had felt as though she was fruitlessly picking all her pieces up even as they fell through the bottom of a sieve. For the first time, she felt reassured and slightly more whole. “You most definitely will.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Set after the events of 4x13. The day after.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As it happened, the morning arrived with coffee and doughnuts at the local coffee shop that Division 15 frequented. Holly pursed her lips in silent amusement, parking a tired body beside a policewoman who had only begun her order.</p>
<p>Gail was on her toes berating the server over the bar but her words tapered to a snippy, “Leave me alone,” when she glanced over at Holly.</p>
<p>The server frowned, his jaw moving as Gail turned completely away from him.</p>
<p>“Hey, fancy seeing you here,” Holly said, careful to keep her tone casual. She smiled apologetically at the barista for interrupting.</p>
<p>Gail narrowed her eyes at her before she turned back to counter. This time, she bared all her teeth in a condescending smile. “I’ll have mine black, no milk, and a skinny latte. Thank you very much.”</p>
<p>“Sure,” the server whispered, glancing at both of them before ducking behind the espresso machine.</p>
<p>After he rung up her order, Gail gave him a crumpled wad of cash, “Keep the change.” To Holly, she said, “I’ve got you,” which caused an irrational storm of feelings in Holly’s chest to churn yet again.</p>
<p>This had been happening for well over a week. Holly quashed the excitement, knowing that with Gail –and with any straight woman really –these things were best treated as casually as possible. She chose to say, “Thanks,” and left it at that.</p>
<p>Their coffees arrived ten minutes later and they quietly took a seat by a window. Gail stared at her with icy blue eyes while Holly read a magazine from a pile nearby.</p>
<p>She tried not to be too self-conscious but even if Gail and the rest of the officers in the coffee shop looked as though they’d spent a night turning restlessly in their beds, a person squirmed if someone as attractive as Gail studied her deliberately. She peered at Gail from behind her magazine, smiled and put down her reading.</p>
<p>It was endearing when Gail blinked as if she’d been caught and quickly took a sip of her drink.</p>
<p>“I can imagine you’re tired,” Holly began, drinking from her own cup.</p>
<p>“The day’s only beginning.” Gail let out a long-suffering sigh before squinting. Despite Gail’s icy exterior and a cold, relentless beauty that often hid more than it revealed, Holly could see grief and all its exhausting consequences surrounding her eyes. Holly had been around police work often enough to see when a person had been whittled down to her essentials. Holly wondered at what it had taken for Gail to get out of bed.</p>
<p>“Thanks for the coffee.”</p>
<p>Gail waved her off. “What are you talking about. It’s the least I can do after what I put you through last night.”</p>
<p>“You didn’t ‘put me through’ anything, Gail.”</p>
<p>Gail looked at her pointedly, instructing with her brow that Holly concede to this. Holly shrugged, wondering at how easily they fell into this rhythm of honesty that was punctuated by looks and small gestures.</p>
<p>Gail asked, “Will I see you later?”</p>
<p>“If you want to, sure.”</p>
<p>Gail shook her head in amusement. “Of course I want to. What’ll it be? Drinks? Popcorn and a horror movie? Another terrifying ordeal at the batting cages?”</p>
<p>Holly chuckled. “I get off work pretty late today…”</p>
<p>“So do I.”</p>
<p>“You really want to do this.” It was more of a statement than a question.</p>
<p>Gail remained quiet for a while and Holly wondered if she’d retreated back into her shell. Just as she had so many moments before, Gail pulled down the wall that separated her from even the good friends in her life. Her voice softened and the constant scowl on her brow disappeared; instead she looked confused as affection came tumbling out of her uncontrollably. This was the same Gail in the interrogation room, the same one that had grabbed her desperately, except now they were in a room full of people.</p>
<p>“I know that I need to know you’re safe.” Gail recited her words slowly, somehow needing to understand her own thoughts. “I know that I like being around you, that you make<em> me</em> feel safe. It’s frustrating and mostly terrible to feel this way but,” Gail licked her lips and breathed out, “there is no ‘but’ to it. I can’t explain it.” She met Holly’s gaze, her eyes flickering with agitation and pleading that Holly somehow help her.</p>
<p>"I like hanging out with you too,” Holly offered.</p>
<p>Gail tilted her head. “Really? That’s the best you can come up with?”</p>
<p>“And other things,” Holly said noncommittally, buying her time. She needed to be tentative about this. Friendships were hard enough to start; they were even harder to keep and right now, she was treading the fine line between friendship and <em>something else.</em></p>
<p>“Honestly, if I knew how these things went, I should probably be asking you on a date.” <em>So much for the line</em>, Holly thought. Gail continued, “I mean, I’ve never done this, I don’t even know what <em>this</em> is but…doing things with you isn’t the same as it is with, say, Traci. Or Andy.” Her face scrunched into disgust. She shook her head. “I like you. A lot. I just…I don’t know what I’m doing, just that I want to do things with you, hang out. You’re important to me, in ways I can’t explain.” Gail frowned, maybe suddenly realizing that they were in a coffee shop and not in an empty interrogation room. “Look, can I just see you later?”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Holly said. “And thank you for pouring your heart out. I appreciate it.”</p>
<p>“You’re lucky it even happened.”</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>They shared the next couple of minutes in silence, drinking the rest of their coffee and staring out into dreary streets. When they finished, Gail grabbed her empty cup and chucked it in the bin, all the while walking slightly behind her as they made their way across the street.</p>
<p>Holly could feel Gail’s protectiveness coming off of her in waves. It was to be expected, Holly supposed. She had watched her friends get hurt and she herself had been in the crossfire. At this point, everyone was painfully aware of just how easily life could change.</p>
<p>So Holly allowed it: the small touches against her back as Gail guided her past the front doors, the gentle pull on her elbow whenever she’d pull away too far. Gail walked her to the lab and the space between them was heavy with a conversation they were yet to have.</p>
<p>When Holly said, “Thanks for the coffee, and for walking me to work,” Gail gave her a self-satisfied smirk. Holly was glad that the day before hadn’t completely taken the Gail she knew away from her. “I’ll come by the station if you aren’t out by midnight.”</p>
<p>Gail nodded. “Cool.”</p>
<p>Holly turned to leave but a warm hand caught hers.</p>
<p>“Thanks Holly,” she said so softly that Holly nearly thought she had imagined it.</p>
<p>In answer, Holly squeezed Gail’s hand. She thought about it for a second, then pressed a reassuring kiss on Gail’s knuckles. “Come see me if the world’s become too much.”</p>
<p>Gail shook her head. “That’s not the only reason I come to see you.”</p>
<p>“Come see me anyway. I like to know you’re okay.”</p>
<p>They parted ways, but it was hardly an end. It was a beginning.</p>
<hr/>
<p>[FIN]</p>
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